Warning: This Blog is Written by a Kick-Ass Meeting Planner and Contains Strong Opinions, Questionable Language, and Radical Authenticity (Copy)
Tricia Simmons, Kick Ass Meeting Planner
February 17, 2025
And Here’s How YOU Being YOU Will Make Your Team, Your Events, and Your Sanity Stronger Than Ever
There was a time when I thought I had to tone myself down to fit into the professional world. You know—be quieter in meetings, phrase things just so, avoid ruffling feathers, essentially, sit down, be quiet, take notes, and only speak up when asked. But let’s be real: it’s not only a subservient role, it’s also fucking exhausting.
If you’ve ever felt like you had to mask who you are to fit in at work, you’re not alone.
I’ve spent my meeting planning career, an industry where precision, organization, and “professionalism” (whatever that even means) are highly valued. And look, I get it—our job is about making everything run flawlessly. But here’s the thing: authenticity doesn’t mean chaos. It means trust.
And trust? That’s the foundation of every great event, every high-functioning team, and every lasting relationship - whether that’s with a client, a colleague, a vendor, or even an attendee.
From Cold Pricklies and Warm Fuzzies to Real Talk: How I Learned to Show Up as Myself
So, let’s rewind. Growing up, I never quite fit in. I wasn’t the quiet kid. I wasn’t the one who followed all the unspoken rules - I had no idea what they were. I was the kid who asked why—loudly and frequently. I was the kid who called things out, who stood up when something wasn’t right.
And, oh, did that get me in trouble.
Back in the late ‘70s/early ‘80s, my elementary school sent me down to the school counselor to learn about Warm Fuzzies and Cold Pricklies (yes, that was an actual thing). Basically, they were trying to teach me how feelings worked—because apparently, my version of honesty wasn’t always appreciated - a few too many fist fights on the playground.
Fast forward to my career? Same story, different setting (though fewer swinging fists).
In staff meetings, I was the one asking the questions no one else wanted to say out loud. Not to be difficult, not to be contrary—just because I genuinely wanted to understand things, know why things were happening, and, you know, crazy, make them better.
And one day, my boss pulled me aside and said, “Tricia, sometimes it’s better for your career if you don’t ask so many questions, particularly of leadership, in front of everyone.”
Oof.
So, I tried. I tried to hold myself back. I tried to “play the game.” And honestly? It sucked. I felt drained, out of sync with myself, and like I was constantly editing who I was to make other people more comfortable.
When You Open Up the Fucking Curtains, it Let’s the Sun Shine In
Several years later, I had an opportunity - I was switching organizations (for a truly awesome reason and we can talk more about that another time) and I decided then and there, I was done. I was going to be who I am and if people didn’t like it, fuck them. They could go and pound sand. And the moment I stopped trying to be what others expected and embraced who I am, everything changed.
My relationships with clients got stronger—because they knew exactly who they were working with.
My teams worked better together—because I fostered real trust and honesty.
I built a network of vendors I could rely on—because our relationships weren’t just transactional; they were built on mutual like and respect.
Now, I work with people who resonate with me, and I with them. Clients who love my energy. Vendors who appreciate my directness. A team that trusts that when I say something, I mean it.
And here’s the real kicker: Authenticity isn’t just about making you feel more comfortable—it actually leads to better business.
But Wait - There’s Actual Science to Why Being Yourself is Good for You
If you need a little extra proof that being yourself is good for business, here you go:
✔ Authenticity builds trust in teams. Studies show that authentic leaders demonstrate consistency in their action and beliefs, which in turn, cultivates environments where trust thrives. (Source) To be fair, if your authentic self is a narcissist, a psychotic, or someone who is shallow, immature, self-centered and selfish, it’s not going to work - for anyone.
✔ Authenticity improves mental health. Trying to pretend to be someone you’re not? That leads to stress, burnout, and exhaustion. Research shows that people who embrace their true selves experience greater psychological well-being and job satisfaction. (Source)
✔ Authenticity leads to better event planning. In meeting planning, our relationships are everything. When vendors, clients, and teams trust you, you get better deals, better collaboration, and smoother events. (And while I don’t have a scientific source or external back up here, I can say that having relationships with those you trust means that you have others you can reach out to - when things seem hinky you can ask a trusted partner, “Does this seem right to you?” and it can save you tens of thousands of dollars.)
Psssttt… This Isn’t Only About Me. It’s About You, Too.
If you’re constantly feeling like you have to mask who you are at work, ask yourself:
Am I in the right place?
Am I working with the right people?
Is this really sustainable for me long term?
I’m not saying go rogue and start dropping F-bombs in your next board meeting. We all adjust based on the setting (I don’t talk the same way to my dad as I do to my friends, and trust me, he appreciates it).
What I am saying is: stop shrinking yourself to fit into a box that wasn’t made for you.
Because when you lean into who you are, you attract the right people. You build real trust. And you get to do work that feels good and fulfilling.
Final Thought: Own It. Show Up. Do the Work.
You don’t have to be the quietest, in the room. You don’t have to be the most polished. You don’t have to fit into the mold that others have made.
You can just be you.
And if it takes time to figure out what that looks like for you in your career? That’s okay. Just know that on the other side of that, there’s a world where you get to work with people who appreciate you for exactly who you are.
So show up. Do the work. The grass really is greener over here.
